The Funeral
by OctoberDeparture
Summary: After Ianto's funeral Jack does some serious thinking. Most couples don't get a second chance but if he can just see him one more time...  Alternate Universe, Jack and Ianto, MPREG.
1. The Funeral

I held my baby girl closer as they lowered her father into the frozen ground. She clutched me hard, strong, thin fingers cutting into my back. I was aware of them but I didn't feel any pain. I held her and I was the only thing keeping her balanced on her feet, it seemed as if her body could barely handle her grief. She buried her nose in my chest and wailed. I couldn't take it anymore so I scooped my baby up in my arms and carried her away. She hiccupped once, surprised, but clung to her daddy tighter. As I walked past her siblings they looked at us with tears in their eyes. Her sister draped herself over us and for a moment their pain was connected both emotionally and physically. When we were released I carried her, still wailing, to my car. She sat on the left on her own and when I sat down I slammed the door behind me.

"It's cold!" she choked out.

I turned on the heat and the warmth seemed to reignite her tears and they once more coated her pretty face in a slick layer of salt water. I sighed and again picked my daughter up and dragged her into my lap. She cried harder so I rocked her like when she was a baby.

"Shh Daff," I whispered, snuggling her hair. "It's all right… We'll be all right…"

She looked up at me, tears momentarily halted by my lies.

"Daddy!" she choked throwing herself back into my chest.

I kissed the top of her head and closed my eyes against the sight of her. In that moment she looked so much like him I could barely stand it.

* * *

I told Aurora to take her sister for the night, I needed to be alone. So later that evening I sat at his kitchen table flipping through books of our pictures he'd assembled over the years. There were fifteen in all, a number I know would have irritated him because of its oddness.

The first one began with the wedding. It took almost six months to plan but he did it in four and he did it all by himself. He was wedding planner, my fiancé, _and_ secret alien ass kicker all in one. Very sexy, and on top of all that he'd been pregnant with our Aurora. He never wanted to stop, never wanted to take a break.

I lingered on the look on his face right before I shoved the piece of cake in it. He knew it was coming but the look was so priceless I had been laughing before I actually did it. He had gotten me back later in bed though so we were even. A month later he'd given birth to first daughter. Pictures from that night had come next. Martha had been there, along with Gwen, and me of course.

_ God our baby girl was so beautiful Ianto! The prettiest girl I ever saw!_

After she was born I'd moved us all to the home I am currently sitting in, a comfortable English style manor in the nice, safe countryside.

_ I gave you everything didn't I? Everything you ever wanted or deserved and more than you ever dreamt you could have? I did everything to protect you…_

I sighed and closed my eyes.

_ I can't be here without you…_

I won't sleep tonight. The first time in many years that I will not sleep the entire night.

I leave the dimly lit kitchen and wander up to our bedroom.

The bed. The bed was _still_ unmade from the last time we slept there together. The indent of your body still blesses the sheets…

I stood a good six feet away from it before stumbling into a nearby chair. I sighed and covered my eyes that were clouding over with tears again.

There were too many traces of you here. This is your room; I'd built it just for you, with you in mind… It still _smells_ like you here.

I glance at the bed again. The bed we'd made Jack and Daff in and the bed you died in. I leave the room.

There were times when I regretted falling in love with you but I never was for one moment ungrateful that you loved me. It was selfish, I was selfish. I was wrong for letting you stay in my life and start a family with me with the knowledge of what I am lording over you. I could not protect you from that. But you still held on to me and never pushed me away. Even as one more birthday passed by and you got older and older you never let go. I watched you die… I could not protect you from death.

I sat back at the kitchen table and gazed down at the pile of scrapbooks on it and the black weapon next to them. I knew it was dumb, I knew it was futile, but if I could just see him once wandering through all that darkness then maybe I could… I didn't know… the kids wouldn't have to worry. I'd be back by the morning…

_BANG!_

It wasn't so dark this time around. It was actually light and warm; it was beautiful and blue. It was Le Côte d'Azure in France where Ianto and I had spent our ten year anniversary. I looked around. Typical rocky beach, the palm trees, the sea. Everything was quiet and calm and empty. There were no people or animals or vendors or _anything_… except for the whisper of the soft breeze that was blowing.

"Jack?"

I turned around and there he was.

"Ianto!" I yelled and ran forward to catch him in my arms and squeeze him tightly. He was young and whole and strong and _here_! I inhaled deeply and he scent was so fresh it was like he had never died! He hugged me back with all of his strength!

"Wh- what are you doing here?" he cried. "D- did someone kill you? I told you to be careful!"

I hugged him harder when I heard his voice. It was strong and clear and oh oh Welsh. He was everything he once was!

"Jack!" he snapped.

Yeah it was him all right. Everything down to his scent and facial expressions was _perfect_! I spun him around and around until he laughed with glee. I kissed the top of his head repeatedly. "My Ianto! My Ianto!" I cried. I never wanted to let him go!

"Jack! Jack!" he cried. "It's okay! It's okay! Calm down! Look at me!"

I smiled and softened my grip on his back to gaze down into his brown eyes.

"I told you," he laughed. "Be careful!"

"I did it myself," I admitted.

"With Daff in the house?" he yelled horrified.

"Of course not!" I yelled. "She's with Aurora for the night."

A relieved expression fell over his face and he sighed. "Jack…" He folded into me again and we both closed our eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed you," I answered. "I _always_ need you…"

"The children…" he muttered. I hugged him tighter. I knew he wouldn't want me to stay…

"Where is this?" I asked.

"I don't know Jack," he said. "But I've been here for a while; I woke up here when I… died… It hasn't been bad… quite nice actually… Do you think this is Heaven?"

I shook my head but took a look around. Gorgeous, warm but not hot, brilliant sun… "You know I don't believe in Heaven."

He sighed sadly. "Yeah… I know… This is probably some reverse purgatory or something…"

I smiled. "No Ianto, wherever I am with you is Heaven." I hugged him even tighter.

Suddenly, a cacophonous melody filled the air and made me frown. Here, in this wonderland- like "purgatory," after all these years…?

The Doctor's blue TARDIS shimmered into being on the warm, white sand and Ianto gripped me even tighter, he'd only seen it once after all…

"So this _isn't_ Heaven?" he muttered gazing at the thing coming into sharper and sharper focus.

"No, of course it isn't Ianto Jones!" the familiar voice of the Doctor said as the man stepped out of his TARDIS and onto the beach. "Took you long enough to get here Jack."

"I thought he was dead!" I growled.

"He is!" he shouted walking over to stand before us.

"Then where am I?" Ianto asked calmly, never letting go of me.

"Le Côte d'Azure!" he cried.

"This is _not_ the Riviera Doctor!" I snapped. "What's going on?"

He laughed at me. "This is special pocket in time and space I've created just for you." We both stared at him with knitted brows. "I've given you the blessing of seeing Ianto again, alive and young and _you're_ yelling at _me_?"

"Well we'd just like to know what's going on," Ianto said patiently.

"Yeah because I know for a fact that my husband is dead," I said angrily. "I buried him this morning with my little girl sobbing on my shoulder!"

"Daff was sobbing?" Ianto cried looking up at me. He could never stand to see her cry.

"Of course she was!" I said. "He's _dead_ and I _know_ he's not some twisted memory you've concocted because this is _my_ Ianto, the same as he was when I first kissed him!"

The Doctor stared at me silently for a while. I glared back and Ianto just clung to me tighter and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Ianto is most certainly not a twisted memory," he said. "You'll find that everything down to the little scars in his palms your nails gave him when making Jackson are still there. I'm giving you a choice Jack," he said slowly. "You can let nature take it's course, rip you back to Wales, go back to your children who are mourning and who need you… or you can stay here with your Ianto in this beautiful paradise…"


	2. Chapter 2

I frowned and stared at the Doctor in complete and utter disbelief. Why would he do something like this to me?

"Go home," came Ianto's voice quietly.

I looked down at him. "Ianto I won't leave you," I said vehemently.

"You don't have a choice," he said seriously. "The children need you and you will _not _leave them alone. They need you more than I do."

"Ian-!"

"No!" he shouted shaking out of my arms. "Why should we get another chance? Why _do_ we get another chance? Other couples don't! I'm dead! We knew exactly what we were getting into when we had Aurora and Jack and Daff and when I started getting old! I'm dead! I can't go back and be with them and hold Daff when she's frightened and protect Jack when he gets into trouble! I _can't_ Jack! You _have_ to protect our children! I won't let you leave them!"

"Ian-!"

"Go Jack!" he said, attempting to sound strong but I always knew when he was faking for me.

"I don't want to leave you Ianto!" I roared.

"Back to Wales is it?" the Doctor cried.

"NO!" I screamed.

The beautiful scene then began to dissolve and get darker and darker. I quickly reached out and snatched up Ianto's hand in mine but as soon as I caught it I was ripped away from him with an awful scream. I was torn back through the darkness, back through the memories, back through time and space. I screamed, and screamed, and screamed . . .

* * *

I gasped loudly as I woke up, sitting bolt upright. Where was I?

It was dark but stiflingly warm. I couldn't see very far before me and that was strange because when I killed myself the lights had been on… Through the darkness I could make out a… a rocking chair…? There weren't any rocking chairs in the kitchen.

I quickly gazed to the right. I could see walls and picture frames on them. I saw the outline of a jumbled mass of wooden and metal parts on the floor by the corner and I remembered myself saying, "You know I should really be a pro at putting these things together by now…" I looked up from the floor and saw the door to a large walk- in closet I'd built for… Ianto!

I automatically looked down to his usual place in our bed, to my right side. I was in our bedroom! My heart was beating wildly as I gazed down at him, his relaxed body casting shadows from the moonlight streaming in through the open window behind him. He was breathing easily, peacefully and had his arms wrapped around a pillow he was clutching to his waist. I wasted no time in seizing him to me, waking him up in the process. He yelped loudly in fright.

"What is it? What is it? Is it Jack? Did he let the dogs loose again?"

I just laughed and held him to me tighter.

"Oh you think that's funny, do you?" he asked, his eyes closing again after the initial shock. I figured that, yeah it must have been kind of disturbing to have one's husband snatch you into a hug in the middle of the night. "We'll see who's laughing when you and your son are out in the cold, looking for those dogs and Aurora and I are watching you from inside . . . sipping cocoa . . ." he yawned hugely and I couldn't help but squeeze him harder and plant kisses on the top of his head. He was real! Just like in my dream but somehow even more real… I rubbed his back and found every one of his muscles in place, so strong but covered in a layer of subcutaneous fat making them just a little bit softer… ". . . and opening presents . . ."

Opening presents?

". . . Christmas Day . . ." he mumbled, ". . .if those dogs are gone _again_-"

"It's not the dogs," I said gently, squeezing him one last time. "I'll be right back love, be here then?"

"It's a date…" he grumbled, his head lagging to the side.

I smiled and let him go, carefully resting his head down on his pillow and kissing his temple. I then got out of bed and passed the large unblinded windows playing a back garden scene in the middle of winter. Our back garden was wide and spacious so there was plenty of room for our children to play. A patio and swing set were being covered up by the gently but consistently falling snow. I looked a little farther and saw the two very sleek, very grey Weimaraners I had bought for all my children on my son's last birthday. They were running quickly along the back fence line. I rolled my eyes and muttered fondly, "Jackson…"

_Jackson!_ I thought, the horrible dream coming back to me in a flash. I immediately darted out into the hallway. My son's bedroom was the closest to ours and his door was wide open like usual. I poked my head in and a relieved sigh issued from my mouth. He was there, little and curled up in his tiny bed. I stepped into his room and knelt down next to his sleeping face.

"Daddy?" he asked, his deep brown eyes opening. The only one of his features that wasn't directly copied from my face was his eyes, they were borrowed from Ianto. "Is it Christmas yet?"

"No, not yet Tiger," I whispered. "Why'd you let Will and Julia out? They could get cold you know?"

"They needed to… Will told me so…" he whispered looking slightly down. "But I left the kitchen door wide open so they could come back in whenever they liked…" He closed his chocolate eyes again.

"All right buddy," I said kissing his forehead.

Next I went to my daughter's bedroom. She was the one who had started it all…

"Daddy!" she exclaimed when she saw me. "It's Christmas, isn't it?" She sat up excitedly, ready to get downstairs to open her presents.

"No, not yet Aurora," I said with a smile, I couldn't resist it. Goldie had developed a personality not unlike my own. She was brave, clever as she wanted to be, a bit presumptuous, but incredibly precocious. She sighed miserably and I couldn't help but chuckle gently. "Goldie, do you know how long the dogs have been outside?"

"Since midnight…" she said laying back down in her bed.

I sighed. "You helped your brother out?"

"How else was he supposed to each the doorknob?" she asked. Did I mention that she also harbored a mischievous streak…?

"You were up at midnight Goldie," I said shaking my head.

"Well Jack said Will said he needed to go poop so-!"

"Never mind Goldie," I said with a smile. "Close your eyes, go back to sleep darling."

I stroked her dark hair and kissed her forehead just like I had done to her brother and left her room when she was finally asleep. Next, I trotted across the hall to my smallest daughter's room. She would only be about three years old.

When I got to her door I was immediately concerned. It was closed. My little girl's door is always open.

I opened it a crack and whispered, "Daff? Daffodil?"

I threw her door open and gasped. Her bedroom was a home office! I spun around and around in circles trying illogically to place her! Where was she? The only other room on this floor was the bathroom!

I ran back to the master bedroom finding Ianto exactly where he'd said he'd be. I shook him fully awake this time.

"Where's Daff?" I bellowed.

"What?" he cried.

"Daff! She's gone!" I hissed trying not to wake the other children and send them into a panic as well!

"Who?" he asked, his eyes wide with alarm and concern.

"Daff?" I asked. This was unbelievable! "Daffodil Alexandre Harkness? Your daughter? How can you not know your own daughter?"

He raised a questioning eyebrow at me.

"You've turned her bedroom into an office!" I yelled not being able to contain myself anymore.

He glanced out in the direction of the hallway, a confused expression on his pale face. I let out a wail. How could he not know his own child? This time around we had actually made a conscious effort to make her! It had been our decision, he wanted another girl and we made it that way! What was going on?

"Ianto why aren't you panicking?" I wailed. "She's missing! Our girl is missing!"

Had I been transported to another dimension where our little daughter didn't exist? Where no one in my family except me remembered her? No! I couldn't live that way! She had to be somewhere!

"Our daughter-!"

"Is right here! Just here…" he said smiling sweetly.

"Where!" I begged at wits end.

Ianto took my hand and slid it gently beneath the covers of our bed, past the comforter and past the sheets. Soon my hand touched something round and firm.

"Calm down Daddy," Ianto said still smiling.

"What…" I asked breathlessly.

"She hasn't even been _born_ yet and you're already overprotective of her…" he murmured gazing at me with unexpected awe. I looked at him with frightened disbelief. "She still has a couple of months to go… at least let her get her fingernails and toenails on…"

My mouth dropped as he uncovered what I had thought was a large pillow around his waist. I threw myself around it and rested my head on it to hear his heart beating. My breathing was quick and I could feel the tears of relief spilling out of my eyes. My baby girl was all right…

"That's a lovely name by the way," he yawned starting to stroke my hair and my back. "I like it…"

"I'm sorry about that," I said with my eyes closed.

"Shh Jack…" he muttered holding my head and rocking us both gently back and forth.

"I had a nightmare…" I muttered back, kissing his belly over and over.

"Tell me about it…" he whispered kissing my head.

FIN

_Author's Note:_

_I was thinking about possibly adding some more to the story somewhere but I don't know if that would be a good idea. If you are interested please leave a review for me :]_


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